holloween

Holloween!  Well, another year has almost flown by... The leaves are changing, the breeze is colder and inevitably, all the kids have a cold!   I love this time of the year though.  The faces of children always seem to light up just a little brighter with rosy cheeks and the excitement of tradition.  Although I am still slightly hesitant of putting carving tools in the hands of what I affectionately call the "3-footers", they love the hot chocolate that we have while giving our pumpkins life.  And the fact that they have spent the last 2 weeks asking if its "How-o-ween" yet, means that today is a dream come true for them.
       My daughter is 8 years old and for the first time in her life, she has not wanted to be something that requires 90% of her costume to be pink.  In fact, she is proudly now the "dark bride", wearing all black.  It is a pretty dress with blinking lights all over it and I love how she dances in it.  Of course my boys are superheros and full of magical powers, although the only difference there from every other day, is that they have a costume to go with it.  There is so much imagination in it all and I love allowing them to be someone unattainable, even if it is for only one day.  It makes me sad when kids don't get that opportunity because of fear that its "wrong" to do so.  I am a Jesus loving, God believing Christian that just so happens to enjoy the world He gave me. I don't judge others for how they live, but I have no problem speaking the truth when I see it.  Which is in fact, just a big day for guilt-free eating of a whole lot a sugar, and playing the coolest dress-up you can think off.  Life and all its situations is what YOU make of it, not what you think others make of it.  I do not think I am offending God by this!  We had an absolute blast this evening, and I hope you all did too!   And for me, its the only day of the year that I can dress how I really want too without serious questioning of my sanity...

driving distracted

      After careful consideration, I have come to the conclusion that, while texting and driving may be a dangerous endeavor, driving with 3 kid is, well, completely comparable in the danger aspect.  Not only in what you might experience during road rage, but can also be just as much of a dangerous distraction. And, because I am pretty sure that I am years away from making it illegal to drive with children, I have decided on a new course of action that might make driving with kids have a safer outcome.  But let us first explore the range of car management actions fully, so you can better understand why I have decided on this new safety method.

       There is a magical phenomenon that occurs when I am driving, where my arm actually manages a go-go gadget reach with extra strength. My once 3 foot arm mysteriously metamorphosis into an impressive reach far beyond the thought of possibilities. This produces a look of surprise on the not so innocent faces of my beloved bunch, and a few minutes of quiet shock.  However, I do believe that it contributes to the distraction factor on a deeper level than just, let’s say, threatening to pull the car over.  Which that in itself  is completely contradictive to the goal of reaching your destination in the shortest amount of time, so as to minimize the amount of stress that is put on your vocal cords.  (And for the most part an empty threat, unless of course they return with their own threat of peeing on your recently cleaned truck because they didn't hear the 5 times you told them to go to the bathroom before you left. Which was only minutes ago.)
       Next we have the "blast the radio so I can no longer here the high-pitched whining" maneuver, but that usually ends with me breaking out into dance moves and singing, which again, is probably more of a distraction than a control method.  Not to mention it proves to my children that I am not the cool mom, but am in fact, The Dork... Another fact I would like to keep hidden for as long as possible.
       There is also the threat of telling them they better act right, or mommy will get pulled over for driving like a crazy woman.  That has never worked since my boys have a disturbing obsession with flashing blue lights that leaves me questioning when exactly they should start counseling.  And my daughter finds this threat incredibly hilarious because she takes great joy in telling the whole world all about how her mother got pulled over by a policeman.  Which the past has already proven.
       The newest invention, the DVD player, works for about 10 minutes, until they begin to fight about what movie is to be played and where the player should be, more distraction and problem solving.  Food and drink only give the truck a "trash dump" status and usually ends in some fight over who gets what.  Again, not an answer.  I average 500 miles a week, being that we live in the boonies, so I don’t think it is too much for me to minimize stress levels on these drives.  Hence "The Plan".
       I believe every vehicle should come standard with the limousine window where I can see in, but they cannot see out. In addition to this noise reducing device, I feel their should be a button to press for every time I feel the need, as I am looking through the rear view mirror, that plays a simple recording to them. One that whispers and eerie “I am watching you" over and over.  An added bonus would be the button right next to that one that would release a small dose of laughing gas (commonly known as nitrous oxide, which is approved by dentist most everywhere!), so as to ensure a "relaxed" atmosphere. A relaxed, happy ride... This is far less dangerous than the probable amount of accidents that children cause, but are never really admitted too, since all of our children are just "angels".  Sounds simple, but I guarantee peace and quiet in the front seat, and happy children in the back.  You will thank me later….

      

Truckers wife

I guess I'm just missing my hubby tonight...   this ones for you baby.....

The Prayer of a Trucker’s Wife

Dear Lord,
Tonight I pray like I always do
that you keep him safe and happy too
I know sometimes it’s hard for him
to feel closer to the road than to his own home

I miss him so, when the days are long
and miss him more, when the nights are too
Its strange to be mommy and daddy so much
but I guess you know about all that stuff

I thank you for giving me the strength to get up
that every morning I learn how to be tough
I pray that you keep him strong inside too
with the focus it takes in the drive he must do...

Keep us focused, on each other’s hearts
Even though, we stand worlds apart...
Oh what a few simple words can do...
Send him some love from me through You

I love him so much, dear Father, it’s true
all my heart only wants, is for him to be near
but I thank you so much for the job he adores
and how he provides for all of us here...

I am so proud of my Trucker, my lover,
my best friend and my life partner…
So please, if you would, keep all 18 wheels
between the lines of every long mile.

Guide him home whenever you can
(The kids prayed it too, just like they always do)
so we can see the world’s best man....
In Jesus' precious name... Amen

-Audrey LeFebvre

The Corn Maze

       We all remember those specific days in childhood that spark excitement and joy at the memories of them.   Those times when things seemed simple and the kiddie rides seemed 50 feet tall.  When the air smelled cleaner and the sky was always brighter.  I love having those moments with my babies.  Seeing their faces light up when the fireworks decorate the sky, or how thrilled they are when we have a picnic at the park.  That is what makes childhood so endearing.  The joy of seeing things for the first time and experiencing them with a genuine awe. 
       That was my attempt a few days ago as I took my 2 youngest, both boys, to the corn maze and pumpkin patch.  It started off well, the usual; horses, pigs, hay-rides, and pumpkins.  I was pleased we had actually come across no big life threatening disasters. So, with a new confidence, I take my sweet boys over to the corn maze and start running through the stalks of corn.  This cant go wrong at all.  
       However, to set this lovely scene, you must know that the corn has not grown well this year and is only about 3-4 feet tall.  My little 3-footers are running around feeling very cool that they cannot see anyone, while they can be seen by everyone.  After a few "Marco, Polo" moments, we managed to make it over to the one bridge in the middle of the field.  A grand structure of three 2x4s and a bunch of steps, so you see the whole maze from a top view.  Very exciting stuff.  Being overwhelmed by the obvious realization that they are 10 feet off the ground, they promptly go back down, leaving me to enjoy a quiet second of scenery. 
       And I mean second.  It didn't take me long to find them when I looked down, because to my surprise (which really should not have been a surprise) I did not see two little happy boys frolicking through the corn, I saw two little white bubble butts swaying in the wind. Oh yeah, they both have pants down just letting it fly, marking the corn field as their territory.  A proud mommy moment.  To add to this dilemma of being 10 feet up and 15 feet away, while my boys are comparing who hit which corn stalk, there is a whole group of teenage students running through the maze directly at my nudists.  That is when Super Mom Mojo kicks in.  I am almost positive that the group of innocent bystanders must of thought there was a cheetah on the bridge with me as I flew down those stairs, but I am happy to report, I survived.  And I learned a valuable lesson;  You cannot pull Buzz Lightyear underwear and jean shorts up at the same time, especially mid-pee.  But most importantly we still have "corn maze" down on the list of places we have not been kicked out of...  yet.... And That is a good day in the life and times of us.....
       So in conclusion, while I feel it is important to give children wonderful memories during their youth, I have finally understood that they will undeniably always include nudity...

The Intro....

       I was asked by a few of my friends to start a blog due to, and this is my best guess, their overwhelming desire to share in the joy that is my children.  That is to say, give them a reason to laugh in a world that spends to much time focused on the "serious" of life instead of the simple entertainment of life.  And if there is one thing my dear wonderful children are good at, it is to seriously entertain. We live out in the country in a small town in Florida where the dangers are slightly different than those of "them there city folk".  There's a few acres, a couple of horses, a few dogs, one bunny and I'm pretty sure a partridge in a pear tree.  My husband is a long-haul trucker, so I write this for him too.  We enjoy a good fire, some great food and honest people.  We appreciate what we have.  Sounds simple doesn't it?  Hehehe
       Well, I make no grand illusions that I am a perfect "homemaker" mommy or know exactly what to do in any given situation as a mother.  My house is not always "fit for company" as they say, but its not covered in a bunch stuff that I wont ever use either. I may spend all day cooking a thanksgiving dinner that ends with an undone turkey and some burnt pie, but I can whip up a pretty dang good meal in 5 minutes with 5 ingredients.  Adding, of course, an extra row to the food pyramid that will undoubtedly put "out of the box" as an acceptable food group and a good source of vitamins and minerals.  I let my kids play and get muddy, but in observing nascar on a regular basis,  I have succeeded in getting an adequate bath time in for 3 kids in 11.2 minutes.  A personal goal of mine I am proud of.  There are times that I honestly have no idea what my children are talking about, but I will always shake my head and say "that's great dear", and with only a slight regard for the possibility of a large psychologist bill in the future. 
        My main goal in jotting down the unexplained phenomenon of children is so that one day, when I have lost all brain cells from raising said wonderful children, I will have a decent record of the joy I had in raising them.  They truly are the reason for why I live.  I hope you enjoy what may seem like a simple life, but I can promise you this; its NEVER a dull moment!!!  And though I may question the sanity of this young mother, truth be told, I owe them my undying gratitude for teaching me unconditional love. Because baby, your gonna need it to survive parenting....