Big lessons through little voices

    So the other morning, as I lay peacefully sleeping in my bed, experiencing those few precious moments of quiet, I had a wake up call that I hope to never duplicate for as long as I live.  It's 5 am, and I have, unknown to me at the time, a small child that has crept ever so silently into mommies bed.  I am still ok at this point, being that he is actually following the set rules that say "don't wake the mom up until the weird buzzer sound box has been hit at least three times."  Good boy.
       But, also unknown to me, is the other small child who, and I should state at this point that he has an unusually large head (this is important to know), is up roaming the halls heading towards my bedroom while configuring a sneak 'attack and capture'.  About this time is where contact was made.  Without any warning, or trumpet sounding, a ten pound, seemingly lead reinforced head, comes plummeting down from the earths atmosphere directly onto my small impressionable nose.  Direct hit.  Bolting up from a dead sleep (while yelling something I have since asked forgiveness for) I open my eyes to find tears rolling down my cheeks.
     I hear a faint voice say in shock "Ohh, I sooo sowey Mommy", just about the time the buzzer goes off. Now a little more awake, I realize that blood is now streaming down from the once usable nose.  Through my sobs (and no, pain and I are not good buddies), I manage to get out an  "It's ok son, but could you go get me some tissues" blubber.  And my once villain now turned superhero, is off the save the day.  So, as i sit there in the dark, tears streaming, blood flowing and tissues flying, I hear the sweetest comment that edified the entire scene and got me thinking.  My little Noah, who is always sure of everything and wrong about nothing says "Oh", in a sweet note of realization, "You cry too Momma?". 
     What a strange question I thought to myself, how does my son not know I cry too.  At what point did SuperMom become un-human?  As a seemingly single mother of three (having a husband who is always off trucking all those products we so need to the rest of the nation), I am also working and caring for a small farm.   I probably have many times in my chaotic life where crying would be normal.  But here is my 4 year old, with a glint in his eye, smiling at me because he sees that I am crying, as if to say "welcome to life Ma, glad you could be like one of us".  Funny how a little bit of humanity goes a long way.  Apparently, parenting is not about always looking like you have it together, or even thinking that you do.  Seeing his relief that its ok if mommy cries too, makes me think its more about being real in life and accessible to give understanding through it.  I am sure that my "have it all figured out" attitude has actually pushed my kids away from me more than given them security.
     I have always striven to be honest with my kids about all things, on a level they can understand.  But in that moment, I understood that my honesty only takes me as far as my ego.  They don't need to think Mommy has it all figured out, that is not real life.  They need to know that when life is too much, its ok to be sad, or mad, or hurt.  Its what you do with all those feelings, that is our job to teach them.  If my daughter grows up thinking that she shouldn't cry when she gets hurt, than I have not been real enough with her.  Life is about all of our experiences and if I pretend the bad ones don't effect us, than I am leaving my children ill prepared on how to handle them.
     How a small act of accident turns mommy into an understanding, reachable teacher is beyond me.  I guess thats what they call finding big lessons through little voices.  All in all, the nose was a small sacrifice for the comfort it gave my know-it-all son.  He is the most like me and I giggle when I think how funny God is to use him to teach me this.  And there He goes again, reminding me that even though I have children off my own, I am still His kid too. 
     So in answer to your question little Noah, "Yes, baby boy, momma cries...."